When you want to draw but lazy to get out of bed so you grab your iPhone…….
People of Teb Tanta, Our journey is coming to its end! its finally time when I should be open to all of you and share my secret. During the past 5 years there hasn’t been a single moment where I could say ” hey its my dof3a!” I’ve always felt like an outer whereas people could easily merge into one unit under the number 56! needless to say, picture day was the most hurtful day of the year!
I’ve always believed that one must create their spot with all means, and mark it to the whole world ( not really the whole world but teb tanta ) but i couldn’t do it! Lord, it was trying too hard to maintain my spot, but eventually Im left behind in outer space.
so i’ve summarized up a list of reasons that led to this;
1; I have no talent! My dof3a is basically a bunch of talented people. every one can draw!
2; I despise el-kobry! who ever listed it as a meeting point was totally wrong!
3; I hate coffee! Tea is my favorite beverage. and if im a little sleepy I’ll just sleep, knowledge isnt going anywhere.
4; I bring home-made sandwiches everyday.
5; I dont like get photographed! I cant even pose in public. all my photos looks like as if I was photoshoped in my own album. saying cheese every time isnt that effective.
6; I love lectures! no matter who much I benefit. you go to uni, you attend lectures. its typical .
7; kotob el kolya are sacred! hell, I’ve wasted my money on freaking useless paper! I just cant get rid of “get these books immediately” voice in my head.
8; I cant easily memorize names! its new every year and I try my best not to get caught.
9; Poll on Facebook group? what? okay. I hardly read it. and when I do, I cant interpret it.
10; Jogging not walking! why can’t people walk faster?
11; I didnt join a club! extracurricular activities arent just for me. I prefer solitary activities .
Why 11 reasons ? because “13 reasons” is too mainstream.I still hope I would fit in my dof3a. we shared a lot of memories and we still have one year to go. long live eldof3a!
I remember that one test, 1st year, anatomy practical exam, where I could never spot anyone I know and it was so lonely and scary actually. out of nowhere, right next to me, I saw someone familiar. Hallelujah! that was unexpected and truly beautiful. of course it was for a few moments becuase the witch had to say “CHANGE” but the thing is, if it wasnt for that brief moment in time, It could have been a serious mess . the point is sometimes you gotta admit you can not do it alone. My savior, wherever you are, thank you.
It has been 4 years, Im still that scared little lamb when it comes to exams. I wonder how many exams I need to take before I become that fearless little lamb. obviously, there is no such thing as “fearless little lamb” . its so frustrating knowing you’ve done your best and your best is not simply enough! seriously med. school is a mental breakdown machine. I have a lot of supporting friends and its utterly morbid. we spend most of our times preparing for exams or recovering from a humilating experience in oral exams . Lord! we need Help. I cant help but imagine how my life would have been like if I hadn’t chose med school .
I’m welling to learn anything form anyone at any time. you know what I learnt in med school besides medicine of course? tons of unpleasent things! like, stereotypes and kinda sacred and can’t casually say no to whatever category people puched you in. another thing, open-mindess is a myth, it doesn’t really exist inside the walls of campus . one last thing, you gotta leave your pride at home unless you have a super powerfull pride-protector. or just get used to it becuase that’s the last concern of most people.
A word of gratitude to the few number of professors who enormously helped me surviving this. I remember it vividly! I remember every time a professor treated me with dignity and respect.
Can you define speechless? yea! its like staring at Van Gogh’s Starry night and you’re speechless! becuase its beautiful beyond limits. Bravo! that’s not the definiting of speechless in oral exams. you become literally speechless. there’s a Cicadas’ orchestra performing in your mind and you gotta listen to the sweet familiar sound of summer! its one of the most devastating experience in the wrold.
I used to get a bit of likes and retweets not so long ago. It felt great to see those tiny red boxes every time I log in. I dont know what exactly happened but, today when I post anything I get -zero exaggeration- zero likes. I mean only my closefriends would react to my posts in a supportive way. So i’ve be thinking of possible reasons and came up with a very interesting list:
- Time loop; I keep refreshing the page many times till I accidentally send posts and tweets to a time loop where no one could see them.
- Only me hypothesis; I always forget to change privacy sittings before posting . Actually I never use only-me option but that thought helps me sleep at night.
- The fault in our mouses; people keep scrolling and at some point it slides fast and they miss my tweets.
- Conspiracy hypothesis; some one out there hates the idea of me being famous and they block any likes because they are of course hackers . Hackers can do anything.
- Censorship hypothesis; in case you didn’t buy the conspiracy hypothesis.
Well, I could have thought of a less sarcastic list but sarcasm is a lifestyle! Anyway, it was extremely hard to admit it.
I can’t spot the time when I lost interest but I’m grateful to whatever reason made me invisible on social media. Reality is rather boring I know ,however, you can’t always control what’t happening and that’s the fun part. On the other hand, we desperately try to show our best side on social media. That’s how I learnt not to judge people behind the screen.
Every day we meet different people and wonder wheather they are going to be our friends or enemies or the relatioship will just remain superficiall till the end. I think every person comes into our lives will leave a mark which is more meaningful than that on Harry Potter’s forehead .Isn’t it awefully interesting to get involved with every individual in the universe? This idea will indeed make some freak out but I assure you that’s practically impossible.
Sometimes a brief conversation with the one sitting next to you on the bus helps you survive the day! Even that certain person you cant stand affects your personality in away far from your imagination. That one might unintentionally keep empowering you so that you can make risky decisions with less or no fear. Another kind of fellows is that one who introduces you to a whole new world, a wolrd you knew of its existence but never had the courage to explore. Whether you enjoyed the journey or not yet, you did experienced something new and that itself is priceless. You may meet someone who will dramatically change your life. That sort of mutation will help you manage your life more efficiently! Somebody might inspire you to come up with brightest idea you have ever had. A child on the street may be the reason why you took a new path in life. Its all meant to happen as every thing happens for a reason. People you meet only once in your life yet, you cant help but feel grateful.
Sometimes I feel like shouting as loudly as I can. Sometimes I just want to run as fast as I can . I might look calm but my anger is killing me. I regret speaking without thinking. I hate to be praised. Oh ,I love to be praised. I wish my sighs could be heard . If someone could interpret these sighs, I may fall in love. I wish to fall in love. This strange mixture of feelings is terribly exhausting. I’m exhuasted. I’m tired. I’m sick. Life happens but nothing actually happens . Days after days and I’m getting older. I have no enthusiasm . I wish to see snowfall. I wish to see the world. I hope to achive my little bit of success . I love humans. I want to help everyone. I love for the sake of love. Its horrible to witness how someone changed into an awful version of them. Its frustrating that I cant help them find the way back. I keep forming bonds. I always pay attention to trival things and get attached. I love watching faces. I can read them. I wish to get involved with every life on the earth. I love animals .